New year, new me…am I right guys?!
Man, how do I even start to figure out what the heck my resolutions even be. And, let’s be real have I ever really stuck to them?! I will make 2019 my beotch!
Where do I start?!
BUNS O’ STEEL:
Ok, yes…of course I know and understand the premise. Eat less and move more. Not such as easy task as my love affair with food is at an all time high. And to be completely honest, I have been saying, “diet starts Monday”, since 2002.
That first year of breastfeeding, it became apparent to me that I could kind of eat whatever I wanted as long as I fed her lots. Yessss!!!!! This was a hallelujah, holy crap realization!! So you best believe I took FULL advatange of this. Doritos and Oreos and pop, oh my!
This was especially mind blowing to me because I was THAT pregnant gal that did my little prenatal workout every day and watched what I ate. You betcha, being a mid aged, “geriatric” mom( thanks for that label world), I was terrified of gaining too much weight.
So, afterwards it was like I was making up lost time by shoveling every into my mouth. It was sort of liberating and gave me a high. I had never had that kind of “freedom” at a grocery store.
This was all sunshine and rainbows until those dirty rotten pounds slowly crept on. Yikes!! After recently having a good look in the mirror, I said, Well old gal, it was a good ride while it lasted.” Time to change it up!!!!
Oh , how I miss those teenage days and that teenage body!!! Need to have a flat tummy for the beach in two days? Easy peasy, skip dessert for those two days and BAM…flat tummy. These days I would settle for one AB at this point! 😜
But, guess what, I don’t have that speedy young metabolism I once was blessed with. This is going to be hard AF. 😑🤪
I know one thing for sure…I am my own worst critic. I think we can all admit to this one. And, let me tell ya, I have been nasty to myself.
I constantly told myself I was a crappy mom, wife, daughter, sister and friend. I repeatedly told myself I WAS NOT ENOUGH. I was a toxic combination of guilt and sadness. Guilt because I was not “out there ” as much as before. Sadness because I knew it.
So, when are being hard on yourself, it becomes easy to be hard on others who are close to you. As completely unintentional as this was, I know I have not been the kind person I know I am capable of being.
So, looking forward I am going to do my darnedest to be patient, accepting and kind to myself and others!!! Oops, sorry dear hubby..
This means biting my tongue when the toast is cut wrong, the penaten is smeared in the wrong direction, or the many other things I am so used to doing all the time. New flash, everybody does things different…not wrong or right, just different.
That being said…absolutely I want to be more”kind”, but that does not mean sacrificing MY own feelings to please others. Afterall, I gotsa take care of myself first to be a better person.
LIVE FOR TODAY:
Yaaaass!!! It is such a powerful easy premise BUT SOO hard to actually live it! I know it!
I don’t know about any of you other gals out there but I have a special “woman vault”. And let me tell you, it has years and years of intricate details and events. Many events good, but most of these handy little tidbits are those pieces of pure gold you pull out when you need to sink a battleship ( naturally your significant other).
Oh yes, these little beauties are times or events when you felt wronged. Or better yet, the whitty comebacks you never got to unleash! Of course, many things in the woman vault are jusitified ( well in our heads) but most things, when spewed out sound coo coo for cocoapuffs.
You know the ones. As you start to even mutter the sentence : “Well in 2009 at 3:45 pm, you said…”. This usually results in your significant giving a look of such confusion. But how dare they even suggest you are cray for bringing it up! I mean, it is not our faults if we have a good memory, right?
Well, that being said..I am actively, as hard as I can going to try to let more things go. Seriously how unproductive have I been worrying about things that already happened and that I cannot change.
Still, some things are harder to get over, and it is ok not too. However, I am going to try to let go of all the small stuff, especially on the past and focus on today.
And even though some days are SOO hard, I promise to try to find the joy. Afterall, you never know what will happen tomorrow.
Happy new year to you all! Wishing everyone a healthy 2019!