Shame, shame, shame!!!!

In todays society, people are shamed for being overweight, underweight, for who they love, too many partners, not enough partners, loving cats , loving dogs, meat eaters, non meaters!!!! Man, can’t we all just get the eff along and let people be?! Aren’t we all just trying our best at this thing called life. We are ALL not perfect and make mistakes.

So this includes mom shaming. Of course, this would not bother me as much in the past but now I have experienced it first hand and it SUCKS.

I recently read an article that that really resonated with me. It said that being a new mom, out in public was like wearing a “kick me” sign. This was not a kick you in the a*#, but emotionally. A dagger right in through your little ol’ mom heart. Let me tell you, it stings like a son of a gun!

As soon as I was pregnant , all the opinions and shade got thrown my way. Whether you want to find out the sex of the baby, what kind of delivery /who is going in the room, and my personal fav was natural birth vs medicated?! Well, pardon me if I always knew I wanted epidural ( if I had to do it the old fashioned way)In fact, if I could have been frozen from neck down, or perhaps have a nice medicated snooze, I would be all for it! While I TRULY admire gals who give birth naturally, it was NEVER for me. Nope nope nope! 💁🏼‍♀️

Then, once your bouncing little baby arrives this bring on more shaming. Breastfeeding vs bottle bed, cloth diapers vs regular, organic vs non organic, cosleeping vs cry it out, and what YOUR bedtime / routine is. Crimany, when does it end?!

I honestly think that parents, and naturally new moms are literally in a survival mode. That was, and still is my favourite way to describe the things we do to create peace and get by from day to day. So, you know what momma’s YOU do what YOU have to do!!

This survival mode also includes doing what we need for OUR mental well being. Cause, damnnnn..we need to try to protect ourselves too right? So, why should we have to do things that make us super uncomfortable….and because others think we should?! Probably all the pressures we feel? 😑

Why do we all have to compare ourselves and constantly be compared to what other moms do. We are all so different, with different kids. I would have never expected any other woman to have had the exact same thoughts and experiences as me, right?

I felt like I was , and still am, trying to navigate through this new world. Things are totally different for me now and sometimes I am just not as pumped to do the things I did before. I am totally envious of other parents who go on trips and frequent the local diners with their little ones…especially toddlers. I am sorry if MY child throwing food all over and having epic tantrums in a restaurant is not relaxing for me. SORRYYYY!!!! Perhaps this is why Skip the Dish was invented? Hmmmm…

I have just had to come to terms that people are definitely going to judge me for saying that. For the record , I DO take my child to restaurants, shopping, play dates and events etc..BUT, that is not to say itdoes not makes me extremely uncomfortable when she throws fits. Surely I am not the only mom that feels a sense of panick when their kids act up in public.

My big “shame” ( I still get some shady looks or comments), is that I am still nursing!! Yupppppp, I am. Parade me down to the ol’ town square and stone me to death. Let’s be real, do I really want to be still nursing?! Hell to the no!! But, am I having a hard time trying to wean my child ( she LOVES it) !! I have had many tell me how their children just stopped themselves. Man alive, that sounds heavenly. But is she going to be nursing forever? No, of course not! So what is the big deal? Why do I feel ashamed about it then?

Trust me people , I think all moms ( new parents) are our own worst critics. Pretty sure we second guess and overthink everything we are doing. So, when we start to feel the judgment of others…it is a crushing feeling. Regardless if it is intentional or not.

I am not going to lie I have cried many a tear feeling like I had been criticized for the choices I have made my little one. Perhaps I am being overly sensitive about things. That could very well be, but I cannot help it.

Geez, maybe I make these choices ( such as bedtime etc) because if I don’t stick to it, my sweet little peanut morphs into a tiny raging little fire breathing dragon!

All I want is to try to be the best mom I can be. I think we all feel that way. We know we will make lots of mistakes but we will also get many things right! Score!

And let’s be completely honest with ourselves. We ALL want to feel accepted by others. It is human nature. And we all deserve to feel supported! Let’s spread the love!

4 thoughts on “Shame, shame, shame!!!!

  1. Hi Jen, just keep nursing as long as you like. It’s not unusual at all. It’s good for baby and Mom and she will eventually wean herself.
    Keep smiling and do what you feel is right for you in raising your daughter. Love you😍👍

  2. Mom shaming is the worst, especially coming from family! I’m exhausted and living on little to no sleep. The last thing I need is judgey comments. Please just tell me I’m doing a good job, because like you said Jen we are already our own worse critics.
    Don’t feel bad about still nursing… it’s normal and super good for baby (not to mention cost effective).

  3. I’m a very structured mom and I believe it works well for me and my son. My biggest pet peeve is people Mom shaming/ making me feel bad about having a schedule!! It’s great your child can go to bed whenever and sleep like an angel. My baby has to go to bed at the same time every night or he is awake a million times screaming and crying. And no keeping him up later won’t result in a sleep-in!

  4. Jen!! Where were you and this blog when I had my 3 kids!!! This is fantastic!! So true to the fact and I agree with all of it!! You do what works for YOU and your beautiful child to survive the tough parts and the self doubt. It’s hard enough without worrying what others think. I wish that all of my kids breastfed longer!! All you have to do is see how happy, healthy and outgoing your child is and that is proof enough that you ARE doing the right things!! With my first child I would leave a loaded grocery cart at the mere sign of a melt down!! By my third child it was like “go ahead..throw yourself on the ground because you can’t have the toy at the check-out..I dare ya!!’ We all have to realize that there are really good days and then there are the horrific days that you just want to crawl into the toy box and shut the lid. We moms need to cut ourselves some slack and be kinder to ourselves and our bruised egos when our children act as normal as our husbands do when they don’t get their remote…no offence dads. We live for these little amazing humans❤️ Do what works for you!!

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