Life before the beautiful chaos.

Let’s get one thing straight, being a mom brings so much joy to my life. I am so grateful to have Holly after the journey it took for her to be in our lives.. Everyday is a new day where she totally amazes me and makes me fall more in love with her.

That being said, I often think back to those days, before our little Dolly , and think what did I do before her?! Well, duh….whatever the heck I wanted, whenever the heck I wanted.

You got it, for 35 years I was easy going Jenny D . With a husband who often worked out of town, I picked up shifts, had fun movie nights, shopped with friends and had my days where I was a lady of leisure. Binge watch Pretty Little Liars for hours?!!!! Spend over an hour painting fancy designs on my toes? Spending hours in my yard planting and pruning my precious flowers. Sure, why not. Sky was the limit.

Ok, how in the bloody h**ll did I ever think I was tired and busy before? I can remember picking up a 3-11 shift and thinking…”oh my god, I can’t do that or this…I have to work at 3″. What a ding dong I was!

And, while I am at it, I should have been in THE best shape of my life, my house emacculate with a yard that could have been featured in Better Homes and gardens.

But, you know what, as much as I want to kick myself, I cannot regret or get down on myself for that. Afterall, I did not know any different, did I? When all moms said, “enjoy your sleep now”…did I?! Nope!!!

Am I THE most horrible person for saying that I still miss those days of being totally spontaneous and being able to do things at the drop of a hat, sleeping well, having long showers, having a sit on the toilet uninterrupted and having no set schedule. Well, I sure hope not, because it does not mean that I do not love my little toots with all my heart. But, I have those moments when I feel sorry for myself…even for a wee bit. I just wonder if I am the only one?!

Seriously though, I LOVE being a mom. I just think it has , and still is taking me longer to adjust to the shock of my life being turned upside down. I guess some gals embrace the changes quicker or with more grace? Props to ALL moms..well parents!!!!! It is a huge job that is 24/7, and nothing prepares you for it. I admire you all. It does not matter if you have one child or 4, it can all be challenging at times.

I am going to make a serious effort to not compare myself to others moms. I think us gals have to lift each other up, and not bring each other down. Easier said than done, but damn….we can all make an effort, right?!